I Got Promoted… So You Were the Problem!

Several years ago, my manager emailed me an exit interview from a colleague who had resigned. He asked whether I really saw him the way the employee had described him.

The comments were harsh. The employee was unhappy with his experience and spoke negatively about the manager and how he had treated him. I knew both men, and I knew their working relationship had been difficult.

Attempts to find common ground

My manager expected tasks to be completed in a particular way, while my colleague had his own approach. They tried to work together but couldn’t reach an understanding. Eventually, my colleague resigned and moved elsewhere.

I knew my manager well. He had a strong personality and could be difficult to work with at times, but I knew him as a decent person who cared about the work. I hadn’t known him to be unfair or unkind.

I told him honestly that I didn’t see him as my colleague had described him. That description differed from my own experience. I also pointed out that my colleague had left feeling upset, and that people can see the same experience differently.

I couldn’t be certain about everything that had happened between them. One of them may have fallen short or struggled to understand the other. What I knew was that both had tried to work together, without success.

A message some time later

Some time passed, perhaps a year or two. My colleague and I stayed in occasional contact. One day, he sent me a message:

“Good news! Thank God, I’ve been promoted at my new job.”

I was happy for him. “That’s wonderful. Congratulations! You deserve it.”

“See?” he said. “This proves I wasn’t the problem. The company was. They were the ones who didn’t appreciate me.”

I congratulated him again and told him that what had happened might have been good for him. Had he stayed, the same conflict might have continued, leaving him unhappy in a relationship he’d tried unsuccessfully to repair.

Instead, he had moved somewhere else, done well and earned a promotion. His former company had continued its work too. His career hadn’t ended with that experience, and the company hadn’t stopped after he left.

In my view, his promotion doesn’t settle who was at fault in the earlier disagreement.

It does mean he found an opportunity where he could succeed. That is something worth being happy about and appreciating.

An opportunity elsewhere

People sometimes come to me struggling with their relationship with work. Some are emotionally exhausted and unable to find common ground with their manager. It affects their personal lives too. They try repeatedly to improve the situation, yet remain stuck in the same cycle.

In these conversations, I find myself recalling the Quranic verse: “Was Allah’s earth not spacious enough for you to emigrate?” (Quran 4:97, translation by Mustafa Khattab).

If you’ve exhausted your attempts to improve the situation, still can’t work well in that environment, and have the option to move, look for an opportunity elsewhere. You may find a role that suits you and continue your career with greater peace of mind and satisfaction.